As your mom or dad gets older and insists on remaining independent, he or she may appear to spend more and more time alone. Your parent may have always been a very active person, regularly involved in some project or activity. In fact, you may not remember a time in the past that your mother or father was ever alone. Your concerns may be growing as you watch your parent appear to withdraw. If you were to put a label on their status today, you would describe them as depressed.
Living assistance experts identify loneliness as the pain of feeling alone. However, if your parent is enjoying their independence and solitude, then they are not lonely. Isolation can lead to depression and those who provide professional living assistance suggest it is important to understand the difference. If your mother or father is suffering from a deep loss after declaring their independence, finding themselves ‘all alone’ with no one to share time with, their declaration may have been too profound and misunderstood.
Your mom or dad may need some solitude; they may not want to live in your home or have a senior caregiver doting on them 24/7, but they don’t want to be forgotten. They want to be included and part of the whole. But sometimes with age, communication skills diminish and what they may express is not quite what they mean. Living assistance specialists suggest that you observe your parent and support them through this process. Just as you needed space as a teenager and a young adult, they need space now, but they also need companionship and friendship from you and others to ward off loneliness that can lead to depression.
Loneliness and depression are not the same, but extreme loneliness can lead to depression, and it can happen quickly, even before your parent has grasped the situation themselves. As a caring, loving human being, extend yourself and be there for your parent.
